Seasonal changes: the beauty of Spring/ "Beltane"

Kia ora,

Life here is changing due to the sun in the sky. The seasonal changes you can feel thru the sun's energy, which affects the people, the plant life, and the overall "buzz" of the city. I am finding /learning to be content in the city. I am learning to "roll" with all the changes that are happening: new job, new visions of my future, new transportation options, and volunteer opportunities. I am always seeking and often times this means I have about 5 different things on my plate. Now, I am concentrating and focusing on "selecting" a few from the rest, and going for it. I have never been a very decisive person and it usually takes me awhile to discern/choose what I want for myself and my future. Having a partner and living with him in a small space has made the decision making more challenging. Although this is challenging, I am finding that when my heart is open I am able to learn so much from him (and vice versa).

Pictures will be posted soon! The picutres are of our garden representing the beginning of a new season. Hari om!

xx

Update

Hello All!

I have been to Raglan to visit Cyndi Cushman and to check-out the town. I finally made it to this quirky, but interesting little town on the Westcoast of the North Island of New Zealand. Peter Cook helped inspire the trip by offering to swing by and pick me up from my flat in Auckland. He drove me to all the surf breaks when we first pulled into town. Then I enjoyed having dinner with Peter and Cyndi Tuesday night, drinking wine, looking out over the water of Moonlight Bay. Next morning we woke up and headed into town to drink a coffee at a local coffee roaster in town (Brought Josh back some espresso beans from Raglan Roast). The surf wasn't up the first two days, so I held off until the third and final day. In between long sets in the morning I was the only one out there, so I chanted without any inhibition. Whale bay wasn't happenin' until it was almost time for me to get out and then the swell came up. Man! I sure felt the waves come up. It was me and two locals, who showed me how it was done. The one guy was a pretty mad surfer. It was good exposure- and good people to be around in the water. But, in the end, I didn't have much time. It's a challenging spot to get in and out of, but once you are out in the water, it is one of the prettiest places to be surfing in New Zealand. Perhaps this is pure relief or the bliss of exhaustion after a good paddle?

Cyndi took me to Bridal Falls the second day. The image of the place is still imprinted in my brain as it was a spectacular natural occurence. The cascading water almost seems to "fall" out of nowhere. Literally you are surrounded and in the middle of farmland while driving out there (and even when you looking out over the horizon of the waterfall). The trail follows a small tributary/stream which leads you further away from the road and deeper into the bush. It is quietly flowing and you'd never expect a 55 meter waterfall nearby. As soon as we came to the clearing we peered over the edge and the water was hurling down to the depths of a deep pool. The "hole" was created by volcanic activity and deepened by the water flow. Basaltic slabs lined the walls of the "oval canyon" and a the natural wonder left me mesmerized. We climbed down to the bottom where I sat and gazed upwards feeling the mist touch my skin. I read that the Maori believe the mist and rain represent grief and loss and letting go... Something to contemplate while feeling the mist on your skin.

I miss home, but I love what I am doing: exploring and expanding my mind. Always learning something...

On the busride back, I sat next to a Maori/Pakeha girl who taught me how to count to ten in Maori. She taught me the colors and then decided it would be a good idea to teach me some pig latin as well!

Off to work tomorrow at a boutique hotel with a restuarant/bistro inside. Ajo, It's not as glamorous as it sounds! I'm a waitress- who gets the honor of wearing an orange scarf and blue tank-top. ha! And I get to learn about various dishes and which wine compliments them. Better get some shut-eye. I am still new, and plenty to absorb there... and dishes to balance in my hand.

Yours truly,
Hannah

No pictures this time. Camera is out of commission and I am still in the process of trying to learn how to "paint" with words. Ha! the Peruvians say English-speakers naturally paint with words, but.....I beg to differ having grown up in rural Idaho.

Returning

... Soul-searching returns. I have gone to a place called the "soul center" two mornings in a row. It has been an influencing factor on my decision making. Re-connecting with myself- my true nature. Or so it seems....

I do not think anyone has been reading this blog which provides a great sense of freedom as I write. I am contemplating returning to the U.S. which would bring a sense of relief to some and a big welcome home? I do not know this for sure. I know there are people wanting to see me. There is a place for me there. I could begin to work and save in order to enroll in a few programs/classes. I could evolve w/support...

...So what's wrong with doing that in Australia? The work/ pay is not for sure, the place is not for sure, the people/family are not there. Alone. Is there something I fear from being ALONE? I imagine a life where I am broke, in the big city of Sydney, no natural landscape to gravitate towards, no exercise/no wholistic sustenance for my body, no friends. Perhaps starting new like this is a challenge which is necesary for my evolution? How does one know?

I wish I could ask all of you, but I have to know in two days. My flight leaves Sunday to the U.S. Is returning home what I want/need?

Unemployment

Maybe this isn't the most suited title for a blog-entry, but it is the first word that came to mind. I am struggling to go w/ the flow and face my fears whilst challenge all that is in me to continue and grow and evolve as a human being. The worst thing a person can do is remain stagnant, do nothing to fulfill his/her greater potential. Sometimes these subtle changes we can do are simple. What about paying attention to the breath? What about sitting for ten minutes a day and meditating? What about just lying there peacefully in a comfy chair, or on the floor- and do what Dad calls "10 of Zen!" 10 minutes to yourself, eyes closed, focusing inward, relaxing the jaw, letting the breath flow in /out, releasing. Releasing whatever tension or stress has come into your life that day or that moment. Wow, that could just be it!! That could be the "medicine" or the "change" that could slowly help you/ me / our community evolve into what is our full potential. That is what I seek ... and wherever the opportunity arises for me to continue to practice and learn that is where I will go.

Unemployment offers me the time (if I make good use of it) while I look for work and a living space.

Blessings to you all--- LOVE---to you all!

Crossroads

Life again has come to a major crossroad. I feel the emotions boiling up in side of me, creating an overwhelming sensation of being too full! Of course, the fact that it is still morning and I've just kissed my sweetheart good-bye and I am alone in the apartment effects my state of being. I tell myself, the more I practice yoga, the more I'll be able to let this feelings go like the reseeding tide of the ocean.

My brother reminds me that writing is therapeutic and a way to share our journeys. The pen and paper have often been my companion on the road. The modern world has changed that- blogging- what a new concept for me! But I'm realizing also how incredible of a resource it is. I can get the word out to many- share- explore- read on....

So this boyfriend of mine- Joshua- is really into his music. We've got a great sound system and I got in trouble from the neighbor the other day for enjoying the quality of the sound! ha! I never thought that would be me on the other side of the door. Hmmm... oh well! There is sunshine coming through our ranch-sliding doors, the birds usually hang out for a fresh snack. Josh likes to feed them our day-old rice or stale crackers/bread. There are a few cats that come around two. I like having visitors! :) One thing I've happily noticed is that we have crickets in the city that are audible at night. I can also see the stars from our bed and a fern hangs just so I am able to feel like I'm in a subtropical, relaxed city. I didn't think I would like Auckland or find so many good things to say about it but it's growing on me... Josh has been encouraging and helping work on CV's and cover letters. Time is ticking. I've got until May 13th to get a job. If I come out on the unemployment side, I will more than likely go to Australia... Tonga is an idea as well. Josh can't support me for more than a month- he's struggling financially himself. So I come to this crossroad.....

And the journey continues....

Today I will join my friend Luciana for her yoga class and then a cup of tea/ lunch. I will come back to the apartment or go to the library to work on my job application(s). Wish me well as I prepare for the next stage of my journey....into the unknown.

Hannah

Yoga

It seems that my life has changed drastically over the past month: from the ashram life-style to town- life.

I am also realizing now what the true challenges were at the ashram. One of the challenges at the ashram had a lot to do with dealing with boredom. Also, dealing wiht my own thoughts. Often I found when the mind is left to its own devices it creates "stories" either fantasies or dramas. Neither of which are very helpful/beneficial in the end. Of course there was always the lack of organization of the place and never knowing whether I was "helping" or just "costing" them money by being there. What a horrible feeling in the end. However, I've made my peace with ashram yoga and I still visit them.

As I sit here, reflecting, I am grateful for the time to write. I am also pondering the evolution of the self.

This journey of self-discovery

I am on a journey, as are you all. However, I continually return to spirituality/and yoga for guidance.

I am not my "true" self. I am on the path of self-realization. Meditation is suppposed to bring me closer to my true self. I desire to meditate more.... Now, I've learned that 'asanas'or postures help prepare you to meditate. Once you've completed a series of postures (btwn 15-2hrs) than you are ready to sit and start 'pranayam' breathing exercises. I still haven't figured out a length of time necessary to lead me into pranayam and meditation. * Nevertheless, after pranayama it is said that you are now prepared for meditation. I need about 2 1/2 hours for this whole process. Usually by the end of pranayam I am ready to do something else with my day. Like eat my bowl of porridge or bkfast of some sort.

If you do your 'asanas' properly it is "movement mediation." I aim for this everytime I practice 'asanas' and go through my suryayanamskara "sun salutations." I do not always arrive at the state of meditation while moving through these postures, but I attempt to connect deeply within myself by using the breathe and moving slowly with the breath. It is a powerful practice. It can be a practice you devote to a god or goddess, a family member or friend, or teachers that have come before us and passed on their knowledge. I am intrigued by the process of self-exploration through the practice of yoga. I believe a lot of us are not "truly" ourselves until we connect with ourselves in that deep dark infinite space. I love going to that space time and time again ..... I keep wondering is that where I will find my "true" self?

* I am quite an active person. I enjoy doing the series of postures because of the heat/ the purification process that can take place after /during the practice. But also, I think because I am strengthening and moving my body in a balanced effort to remove any blockages of energy and get the energy to flow again after an 8 hr sleep. It is soooo good. It is not just a physical feeling but a mental and emotional benefit.

Getting to the mat/ the yoga center/ and sitting with yourself is the most difficult part of practicing. But after reading what I've just written, I wonder why is it so difficult if it is oh soooo good!