Returning

... Soul-searching returns. I have gone to a place called the "soul center" two mornings in a row. It has been an influencing factor on my decision making. Re-connecting with myself- my true nature. Or so it seems....

I do not think anyone has been reading this blog which provides a great sense of freedom as I write. I am contemplating returning to the U.S. which would bring a sense of relief to some and a big welcome home? I do not know this for sure. I know there are people wanting to see me. There is a place for me there. I could begin to work and save in order to enroll in a few programs/classes. I could evolve w/support...

...So what's wrong with doing that in Australia? The work/ pay is not for sure, the place is not for sure, the people/family are not there. Alone. Is there something I fear from being ALONE? I imagine a life where I am broke, in the big city of Sydney, no natural landscape to gravitate towards, no exercise/no wholistic sustenance for my body, no friends. Perhaps starting new like this is a challenge which is necesary for my evolution? How does one know?

I wish I could ask all of you, but I have to know in two days. My flight leaves Sunday to the U.S. Is returning home what I want/need?

Unemployment

Maybe this isn't the most suited title for a blog-entry, but it is the first word that came to mind. I am struggling to go w/ the flow and face my fears whilst challenge all that is in me to continue and grow and evolve as a human being. The worst thing a person can do is remain stagnant, do nothing to fulfill his/her greater potential. Sometimes these subtle changes we can do are simple. What about paying attention to the breath? What about sitting for ten minutes a day and meditating? What about just lying there peacefully in a comfy chair, or on the floor- and do what Dad calls "10 of Zen!" 10 minutes to yourself, eyes closed, focusing inward, relaxing the jaw, letting the breath flow in /out, releasing. Releasing whatever tension or stress has come into your life that day or that moment. Wow, that could just be it!! That could be the "medicine" or the "change" that could slowly help you/ me / our community evolve into what is our full potential. That is what I seek ... and wherever the opportunity arises for me to continue to practice and learn that is where I will go.

Unemployment offers me the time (if I make good use of it) while I look for work and a living space.

Blessings to you all--- LOVE---to you all!

Crossroads

Life again has come to a major crossroad. I feel the emotions boiling up in side of me, creating an overwhelming sensation of being too full! Of course, the fact that it is still morning and I've just kissed my sweetheart good-bye and I am alone in the apartment effects my state of being. I tell myself, the more I practice yoga, the more I'll be able to let this feelings go like the reseeding tide of the ocean.

My brother reminds me that writing is therapeutic and a way to share our journeys. The pen and paper have often been my companion on the road. The modern world has changed that- blogging- what a new concept for me! But I'm realizing also how incredible of a resource it is. I can get the word out to many- share- explore- read on....

So this boyfriend of mine- Joshua- is really into his music. We've got a great sound system and I got in trouble from the neighbor the other day for enjoying the quality of the sound! ha! I never thought that would be me on the other side of the door. Hmmm... oh well! There is sunshine coming through our ranch-sliding doors, the birds usually hang out for a fresh snack. Josh likes to feed them our day-old rice or stale crackers/bread. There are a few cats that come around two. I like having visitors! :) One thing I've happily noticed is that we have crickets in the city that are audible at night. I can also see the stars from our bed and a fern hangs just so I am able to feel like I'm in a subtropical, relaxed city. I didn't think I would like Auckland or find so many good things to say about it but it's growing on me... Josh has been encouraging and helping work on CV's and cover letters. Time is ticking. I've got until May 13th to get a job. If I come out on the unemployment side, I will more than likely go to Australia... Tonga is an idea as well. Josh can't support me for more than a month- he's struggling financially himself. So I come to this crossroad.....

And the journey continues....

Today I will join my friend Luciana for her yoga class and then a cup of tea/ lunch. I will come back to the apartment or go to the library to work on my job application(s). Wish me well as I prepare for the next stage of my journey....into the unknown.

Hannah