... Soul-searching returns. I have gone to a place called the "soul center" two mornings in a row. It has been an influencing factor on my decision making. Re-connecting with myself- my true nature. Or so it seems....
I do not think anyone has been reading this blog which provides a great sense of freedom as I write. I am contemplating returning to the U.S. which would bring a sense of relief to some and a big welcome home? I do not know this for sure. I know there are people wanting to see me. There is a place for me there. I could begin to work and save in order to enroll in a few programs/classes. I could evolve w/support...
...So what's wrong with doing that in Australia? The work/ pay is not for sure, the place is not for sure, the people/family are not there. Alone. Is there something I fear from being ALONE? I imagine a life where I am broke, in the big city of Sydney, no natural landscape to gravitate towards, no exercise/no wholistic sustenance for my body, no friends. Perhaps starting new like this is a challenge which is necesary for my evolution? How does one know?
I wish I could ask all of you, but I have to know in two days. My flight leaves Sunday to the U.S. Is returning home what I want/need?
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Unemployment
Maybe this isn't the most suited title for a blog-entry, but it is the first word that came to mind. I am struggling to go w/ the flow and face my fears whilst challenge all that is in me to continue and grow and evolve as a human being. The worst thing a person can do is remain stagnant, do nothing to fulfill his/her greater potential. Sometimes these subtle changes we can do are simple. What about paying attention to the breath? What about sitting for ten minutes a day and meditating? What about just lying there peacefully in a comfy chair, or on the floor- and do what Dad calls "10 of Zen!" 10 minutes to yourself, eyes closed, focusing inward, relaxing the jaw, letting the breath flow in /out, releasing. Releasing whatever tension or stress has come into your life that day or that moment. Wow, that could just be it!! That could be the "medicine" or the "change" that could slowly help you/ me / our community evolve into what is our full potential. That is what I seek ... and wherever the opportunity arises for me to continue to practice and learn that is where I will go.
Unemployment offers me the time (if I make good use of it) while I look for work and a living space.
Blessings to you all--- LOVE---to you all!
Unemployment offers me the time (if I make good use of it) while I look for work and a living space.
Blessings to you all--- LOVE---to you all!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Crossroads
Life again has come to a major crossroad. I feel the emotions boiling up in side of me, creating an overwhelming sensation of being too full! Of course, the fact that it is still morning and I've just kissed my sweetheart good-bye and I am alone in the apartment effects my state of being. I tell myself, the more I practice yoga, the more I'll be able to let this feelings go like the reseeding tide of the ocean.
My brother reminds me that writing is therapeutic and a way to share our journeys. The pen and paper have often been my companion on the road. The modern world has changed that- blogging- what a new concept for me! But I'm realizing also how incredible of a resource it is. I can get the word out to many- share- explore- read on....
So this boyfriend of mine- Joshua- is really into his music. We've got a great sound system and I got in trouble from the neighbor the other day for enjoying the quality of the sound! ha! I never thought that would be me on the other side of the door. Hmmm... oh well! There is sunshine coming through our ranch-sliding doors, the birds usually hang out for a fresh snack. Josh likes to feed them our day-old rice or stale crackers/bread. There are a few cats that come around two. I like having visitors! :) One thing I've happily noticed is that we have crickets in the city that are audible at night. I can also see the stars from our bed and a fern hangs just so I am able to feel like I'm in a subtropical, relaxed city. I didn't think I would like Auckland or find so many good things to say about it but it's growing on me... Josh has been encouraging and helping work on CV's and cover letters. Time is ticking. I've got until May 13th to get a job. If I come out on the unemployment side, I will more than likely go to Australia... Tonga is an idea as well. Josh can't support me for more than a month- he's struggling financially himself. So I come to this crossroad.....
And the journey continues....
Today I will join my friend Luciana for her yoga class and then a cup of tea/ lunch. I will come back to the apartment or go to the library to work on my job application(s). Wish me well as I prepare for the next stage of my journey....into the unknown.
Hannah
My brother reminds me that writing is therapeutic and a way to share our journeys. The pen and paper have often been my companion on the road. The modern world has changed that- blogging- what a new concept for me! But I'm realizing also how incredible of a resource it is. I can get the word out to many- share- explore- read on....
So this boyfriend of mine- Joshua- is really into his music. We've got a great sound system and I got in trouble from the neighbor the other day for enjoying the quality of the sound! ha! I never thought that would be me on the other side of the door. Hmmm... oh well! There is sunshine coming through our ranch-sliding doors, the birds usually hang out for a fresh snack. Josh likes to feed them our day-old rice or stale crackers/bread. There are a few cats that come around two. I like having visitors! :) One thing I've happily noticed is that we have crickets in the city that are audible at night. I can also see the stars from our bed and a fern hangs just so I am able to feel like I'm in a subtropical, relaxed city. I didn't think I would like Auckland or find so many good things to say about it but it's growing on me... Josh has been encouraging and helping work on CV's and cover letters. Time is ticking. I've got until May 13th to get a job. If I come out on the unemployment side, I will more than likely go to Australia... Tonga is an idea as well. Josh can't support me for more than a month- he's struggling financially himself. So I come to this crossroad.....
And the journey continues....
Today I will join my friend Luciana for her yoga class and then a cup of tea/ lunch. I will come back to the apartment or go to the library to work on my job application(s). Wish me well as I prepare for the next stage of my journey....into the unknown.
Hannah
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Yoga
It seems that my life has changed drastically over the past month: from the ashram life-style to town- life.
I am also realizing now what the true challenges were at the ashram. One of the challenges at the ashram had a lot to do with dealing with boredom. Also, dealing wiht my own thoughts. Often I found when the mind is left to its own devices it creates "stories" either fantasies or dramas. Neither of which are very helpful/beneficial in the end. Of course there was always the lack of organization of the place and never knowing whether I was "helping" or just "costing" them money by being there. What a horrible feeling in the end. However, I've made my peace with ashram yoga and I still visit them.
As I sit here, reflecting, I am grateful for the time to write. I am also pondering the evolution of the self.
This journey of self-discovery
I am on a journey, as are you all. However, I continually return to spirituality/and yoga for guidance.
I am not my "true" self. I am on the path of self-realization. Meditation is suppposed to bring me closer to my true self. I desire to meditate more.... Now, I've learned that 'asanas'or postures help prepare you to meditate. Once you've completed a series of postures (btwn 15-2hrs) than you are ready to sit and start 'pranayam' breathing exercises. I still haven't figured out a length of time necessary to lead me into pranayam and meditation. * Nevertheless, after pranayama it is said that you are now prepared for meditation. I need about 2 1/2 hours for this whole process. Usually by the end of pranayam I am ready to do something else with my day. Like eat my bowl of porridge or bkfast of some sort.
If you do your 'asanas' properly it is "movement mediation." I aim for this everytime I practice 'asanas' and go through my suryayanamskara "sun salutations." I do not always arrive at the state of meditation while moving through these postures, but I attempt to connect deeply within myself by using the breathe and moving slowly with the breath. It is a powerful practice. It can be a practice you devote to a god or goddess, a family member or friend, or teachers that have come before us and passed on their knowledge. I am intrigued by the process of self-exploration through the practice of yoga. I believe a lot of us are not "truly" ourselves until we connect with ourselves in that deep dark infinite space. I love going to that space time and time again ..... I keep wondering is that where I will find my "true" self?
* I am quite an active person. I enjoy doing the series of postures because of the heat/ the purification process that can take place after /during the practice. But also, I think because I am strengthening and moving my body in a balanced effort to remove any blockages of energy and get the energy to flow again after an 8 hr sleep. It is soooo good. It is not just a physical feeling but a mental and emotional benefit.
Getting to the mat/ the yoga center/ and sitting with yourself is the most difficult part of practicing. But after reading what I've just written, I wonder why is it so difficult if it is oh soooo good!
I am also realizing now what the true challenges were at the ashram. One of the challenges at the ashram had a lot to do with dealing with boredom. Also, dealing wiht my own thoughts. Often I found when the mind is left to its own devices it creates "stories" either fantasies or dramas. Neither of which are very helpful/beneficial in the end. Of course there was always the lack of organization of the place and never knowing whether I was "helping" or just "costing" them money by being there. What a horrible feeling in the end. However, I've made my peace with ashram yoga and I still visit them.
As I sit here, reflecting, I am grateful for the time to write. I am also pondering the evolution of the self.
This journey of self-discovery
I am on a journey, as are you all. However, I continually return to spirituality/and yoga for guidance.
I am not my "true" self. I am on the path of self-realization. Meditation is suppposed to bring me closer to my true self. I desire to meditate more.... Now, I've learned that 'asanas'or postures help prepare you to meditate. Once you've completed a series of postures (btwn 15-2hrs) than you are ready to sit and start 'pranayam' breathing exercises. I still haven't figured out a length of time necessary to lead me into pranayam and meditation. * Nevertheless, after pranayama it is said that you are now prepared for meditation. I need about 2 1/2 hours for this whole process. Usually by the end of pranayam I am ready to do something else with my day. Like eat my bowl of porridge or bkfast of some sort.
If you do your 'asanas' properly it is "movement mediation." I aim for this everytime I practice 'asanas' and go through my suryayanamskara "sun salutations." I do not always arrive at the state of meditation while moving through these postures, but I attempt to connect deeply within myself by using the breathe and moving slowly with the breath. It is a powerful practice. It can be a practice you devote to a god or goddess, a family member or friend, or teachers that have come before us and passed on their knowledge. I am intrigued by the process of self-exploration through the practice of yoga. I believe a lot of us are not "truly" ourselves until we connect with ourselves in that deep dark infinite space. I love going to that space time and time again ..... I keep wondering is that where I will find my "true" self?
* I am quite an active person. I enjoy doing the series of postures because of the heat/ the purification process that can take place after /during the practice. But also, I think because I am strengthening and moving my body in a balanced effort to remove any blockages of energy and get the energy to flow again after an 8 hr sleep. It is soooo good. It is not just a physical feeling but a mental and emotional benefit.
Getting to the mat/ the yoga center/ and sitting with yourself is the most difficult part of practicing. But after reading what I've just written, I wonder why is it so difficult if it is oh soooo good!
Up-date from a Surfer girl? in a surf town with no Waves!
Wow, I just realized its been about a month since the last time I wrote. With news from my brother in Tenessee and two letters from my grandparents, and a few e-mails from friends in the NW, I decided it was time to write. My wicked cool roommate, Gavin, has let me into the office at the RSA (Retired Services ...) to use the internet! Which is sweet because it would normally cost an arm and a leg to use the internet for as long as I am.
So... what to say? when there is sooo much to say/share. and tell.... I am tired so this is going to be a bit scattered. I am caught in amazement by the beauty of life today, the uknown, and the possibility of allowing your dreams to unfold. I have met up with a fellow Lute (PLU - college) buddy named James Kozak. He is inspiring me to explore more and push myself further. I am eager to have more conversations and visit some places in the area.
I am working only at the cafe now. The gourmet burger joint laid me off due to lack of business. No business, no work. It's basic economics I suppose, but now I have to rely on the cafe to get me through to end of March... It will be fine I told myself...
and it all is.
Work at the cafe will pick up by Jan. 1st and I will be working 40 plus hours until the end of February.
Paying rent this month is pretty much covered as well. Here's the low-down... Two Argentine women who I apparently met at the packhouse when I was packaging kiwi fruit last May came to town. Ran into me at the cafe and said "Hey! I know you!" We got talking and they needed a room to rent so they are going to rent mine for the month so I can take off and explore a bit of NZ.
Transportation: I was lent a subaru sports car and only have to pay for the registration and warranty (140 NZ) and I get it for the rest of the year if I like... For now it will be a good car to tour the Coromandel ( we hope) and it can even fit a 9' surfboard in it. Sleeps one person (which is great b/c I don't have a tent) and it is comfortable to drive.
Yoga: will be studying and preparing my class. Come summer time I will be teaching 1 day a week. Gettin nervous thinking about it already. I've envisioned teaching yoga and conceived a few ways in which I could make that happen. But I never thought it would happen right here right now...so I got to go for it!
Send me good vibes as I prepare myself to teach and guide people in their yoga practice!! Miss you all sooo much....
Hannah Jeana Brandta
So... what to say? when there is sooo much to say/share. and tell.... I am tired so this is going to be a bit scattered. I am caught in amazement by the beauty of life today, the uknown, and the possibility of allowing your dreams to unfold. I have met up with a fellow Lute (PLU - college) buddy named James Kozak. He is inspiring me to explore more and push myself further. I am eager to have more conversations and visit some places in the area.
I am working only at the cafe now. The gourmet burger joint laid me off due to lack of business. No business, no work. It's basic economics I suppose, but now I have to rely on the cafe to get me through to end of March... It will be fine I told myself...
and it all is.
Work at the cafe will pick up by Jan. 1st and I will be working 40 plus hours until the end of February.
Paying rent this month is pretty much covered as well. Here's the low-down... Two Argentine women who I apparently met at the packhouse when I was packaging kiwi fruit last May came to town. Ran into me at the cafe and said "Hey! I know you!" We got talking and they needed a room to rent so they are going to rent mine for the month so I can take off and explore a bit of NZ.
Transportation: I was lent a subaru sports car and only have to pay for the registration and warranty (140 NZ) and I get it for the rest of the year if I like... For now it will be a good car to tour the Coromandel ( we hope) and it can even fit a 9' surfboard in it. Sleeps one person (which is great b/c I don't have a tent) and it is comfortable to drive.
Yoga: will be studying and preparing my class. Come summer time I will be teaching 1 day a week. Gettin nervous thinking about it already. I've envisioned teaching yoga and conceived a few ways in which I could make that happen. But I never thought it would happen right here right now...so I got to go for it!
Send me good vibes as I prepare myself to teach and guide people in their yoga practice!! Miss you all sooo much....
Hannah Jeana Brandta
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Whangamata- Town life
I am living in Whangamata, a small tourist town on the beach in the Coromandel Peninsula, just 30 mins. from the Ashram yoga center. I am working to save some money to head to the S. Island and/or explore more of the N. Island via a bus/van I hope to buy by the end of the summer! Working two jobs: Whanga cafe as a barista/working the til and Soul Burger( a gourmet burger joint ) building burgers making enough to eat, sleep, and practice yoga (on occassion). My new schtick is practicing Ashtanga yoga and teaching a class once a week, starting next month! I guess I have a few things to work on custumer service, balancing coffee mugs and saucers, and balancing poses for yoga class. I am hoping/praying to the goddess of the ocean for some swell, but until then I will be working hard, trying to live a simple life, save $, practice, and make rituals to nature.
Ok, so if you've never been to New Zealand than you've probably never seen a boat being pulled by a tractor and a guy driving the tractor in "red gum" boots (rubber boots) and short shorts! I love it. There are some hard-core people here.
My friend, Nicki, who monitors the Dotterel birds on the beach, wears shorts end of the winter-beg. spring when she hikes in the bush (the forest) because she reckons than she doesn't have to bother with her pants getting wet. IF you have shorts than your pants never get wet walking around the bush. You never have to worry about dry clothes. The rain isn't much of an issue here, because if it rains than you just don't go out. Flash floods and getting caught in the mud is a bit of an issue. The extreme nature in New Zealand is nothing short of amazing.
Ok, so if you've never been to New Zealand than you've probably never seen a boat being pulled by a tractor and a guy driving the tractor in "red gum" boots (rubber boots) and short shorts! I love it. There are some hard-core people here.
My friend, Nicki, who monitors the Dotterel birds on the beach, wears shorts end of the winter-beg. spring when she hikes in the bush (the forest) because she reckons than she doesn't have to bother with her pants getting wet. IF you have shorts than your pants never get wet walking around the bush. You never have to worry about dry clothes. The rain isn't much of an issue here, because if it rains than you just don't go out. Flash floods and getting caught in the mud is a bit of an issue. The extreme nature in New Zealand is nothing short of amazing.
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